Archive | October, 2019

Lies, lies, and more lies…

9 Oct

58So many lies were told…so many untruths.

I love you, was the first lie.

I will never hurt you, was the second lie.

You belong to me, was the finally lie and the lies that I would cancel for the rest of my life.

Who knew the next 18 months would be spent in constant agony and pain to live again and to live forever.

Once a lie is told…it repeats itself in many facets but it never lands in a resting place because it doesn’t belong.

I didn’t belong…

 

The other woman…

6 Oct

58…he cheated the whole time!!

She was always in the picture,  both literally and figuratively.  She stood at the sideline waiting for moments of vulnerability to take over and charge the man I was with. She used my shortcomings to get him…but although I wanted to be mad with her, I couldn’t…she wasn’t my enemy, she was a victim of his as I was. He loves her and others while he loved me.

At one point, I too was the other women…what change…nothing. Just a different year, same drama with the other woman, me.

 

 

The Saga Continues…

5 Oct

142…and the saga continues.  Even after I gave my all and marry this man, he wanted a divorce.  I believe it was simply about the money and the motherly instincts I offered.  He took more than he gave and he demanded and requested more than he supplied and provided.

I was empty and left without anything to fill the cup, when my cup should have run over it was empty and never to be filled.

All it took was one final dismissal of the marriage for me to leave and not return.  Not return physically, but emotionally I stayed.