Archive | March, 2020

Broken glass and empty plates…

25 Mar

I can remember moving, running, escaping…everything in me thought what the hell did you do.

It was a big set up, it was a plot to kill me. My burial would have been my fault…that is what the story that would have been told. Everyone around me was the victim.

The cable…

The gas….

The house…

The rent…

The food …

….they were ploys used as lies to feed his story. Yet, the truth was only believable to the true heart of a real person….not the toy puppets he created.

Funny thing, his ex wife told me he did her the same way. Cycle of a user, a mass manipulator.

…when 365 days became a year to remember.

25 Mar

…nothing like getting back to me. My home, my kids, my mind, my best friend, my family, my dog…me.

I didn’t know most of that was lost, damage or destroyed until I didn’t recognize me anymore.

I literally breathe with intentions. I love the moments that I can smile and laugh. I love me….I love me again.

Finding balance has been beautiful, finding it with my family has been a blessing.

25 Mar

I call this moment 2019. It is actually a separate book. I found my way, my balance, my peace…I found it by letting go of the 20, appreciating the 80.

Guess what…God gave me the 80 back.🙏❤

Page 98 was it…page 98 of Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris. That was my life.

25 Mar

You spent moments after moments trying to hurt me, but I won.

25 Mar

…what the enemy didn’t realize was that I won.

He used you to hurt me, to try to destroy me…but it taught me.

…but before the game was over, I won! 1st quarter.

Every word spoken to him from my heart…he used it against me.

24 Mar

…he was a mind game player. He knew how to change and alter words to meet his needs. He knew what to say and what to listen for to use it to try to destroy my character and damage my reputation.

He wanted my life, the life he thought I had. I had to learn to laugh when nothing was funny, smile when my heart was bleeding and work through the night to ESCAPE.

…week 2 of recharging in full effect.

23 Mar

12, 000 steps a day keep the doctors away and me happy! Only God can do what is being done right now. He knew that I needed to resist and recharge.

I am taking care of me! It is all about me.

Facial regimen

Walking regimen

Spiritually committed.

One day it will all make sense.

23 Mar

…I just keep praying and asking God. I feel like the 2 year that keeps begging God for the candy in the store. I know that God has all my needs met, but I want what I want.

It isn’t him or any other man…I want me back. And this time, this moment, I believe that God is going to give me my desire.

…when my house locks change.

17 Mar

The breaking of the glass was more than just about the physical building. He broke my heart into pieces too…and blamed me.

It wasn’t just me, there were others and they are still in his life. He lied to me.

17 Mar

This was and is the shortest chapter of my life…he lied to me!