Even when you lose, you win…

10 Nov

Even when I lost, I won…and I keep winning even when I lose.

…when the saga continues and the prayers deepen.

10 Nov

I had to pray for myself when all other prayers weren’t heard or sought. I wanted to know that God still loved me and that he wanted His best in my life again. I wanted to know that I was still the apple of His eye.

I started to put on the pressure and the stress of life, every food became a pound, every missed nap was a pound, every angry notation was a pound.

I was gaining and losing it all at once.

365 days, 1 year…Time.

22 Oct

Time was all I had and all it took…. I was in love and love was in me. I gave my heart…my soul…my spirit.

It took one year…a divorce, a marriage and a divorce.

 

All I wanted was a kiss…

14 Oct

931

All I wanted was a kiss…one in the morning or one at night.

The reassurance of our commitment,  our love.

I just wanted a kiss to know that we were one. That we were okay. The only kiss was at I do. I never for another one…

…when the Life Coach needs a Life Coach.

14 Oct

07

I spent years helping other couples.  I would write books, speak at conferences,  do seminars,  you name it…I was that life coach of love and romance. Many relationships were healed because we were the examples,  the example needed an example.

…how do you teach someone else to forgive, but you couldn’t?

…how do you teach someone else to pray, but you refused?

What happens when the love you teach and preach, you couldn’t live?

…I the coach needed a coach.

…what happens when you put others in front of you!

13 Oct

98

I was the type of person that if you needed a coat, you could have mine.

Brand new…

My only one…

One of the kind…

Expensive…

I would give it all away!!!!

It was a lesson learned.  I depleted myself of joy, peace, happiness,  love, money… I depleted myself to help someone else heal, while I was yet ill.

I can remember sitting in my car one day after work, driving an hour and half to get home.

I was ill…

I was sad…

I was lonely…

I was alone…

Yet, I was a newlywed.

But what about my vows…what about for better or worst?

Yet, I left a marriage for this same reason…but this was worse.

The law of reciprocity..

13 Oct

96

The law of reciprocity….

I gave love, but I reaped hate.

I gave peace, but I reaped turmoil.

I gave hope, but I reaped despair.

I gave money, but I reaped debt.

I gave joy, but I reaped confusion.

I gave me, but received no one in return.

…then I gave it to God and He gave all that I gave back.

More than I can account for.