One day it will all make sense.

23 Mar

…I just keep praying and asking God. I feel like the 2 year that keeps begging God for the candy in the store. I know that God has all my needs met, but I want what I want.

It isn’t him or any other man…I want me back. And this time, this moment, I believe that God is going to give me my desire.

…when my house locks change.

17 Mar

The breaking of the glass was more than just about the physical building. He broke my heart into pieces too…and blamed me.

It wasn’t just me, there were others and they are still in his life. He lied to me.

17 Mar

This was and is the shortest chapter of my life…he lied to me!

I am still healing…365 days later.

17 Mar

I am still healing, it is a process that is greater than I thought it would be.

Sometimes, it is the smells.

Other times, it is the music that I hear.

Oftentimes, it is the regrets of how much I gave.

But…all the time, it is the prayers that I prayed.

I can remember one night when I couldn’t get into contact with him for hours. He was traveling through his favorite grounds of which “she lived” and he was ignoring me. All this was happening while I was home with our family, our joint family. He finally made it home after a much circus show 10 minutes prior and pretended to be tired and ignored me. I literally fell on my knees crying and praying and asking God why me and what was wrong with him.

The healing.

A year ago I was locked out of my own house…

8 Mar

He never loved me…my rings cost 99 cent from the Beauty Supply Store.

8 Mar

I didn’t realize I was dancing with the devil.

5 Dec

I didn’t realize I was dancing with the devil.

He took me on a spin and twirled me in the wind.

The lights were deemed and the atmosphere was ripe.

The ambiance was fierce and the words he whispered made all things disappear.

Then one day my eyes open and he appeared, it was him all alone…the devil in disguise attempting to cause my demise.

I never realized I was dancing with the devil until me, literally all of me was gone.