Now that you have decided to wait until you are married to have sex, let’s discuss something extra…Communication and Money! Yes, your milk is not just your goodies; it is your conversation and your money!
How can you enjoy sex with your husband and neither of you can talk with one another and the money is looking FUNNY?
Your husband will be the King of the castle; you must learn how to submit. Learn first by submitting to God now.
Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Communication
Having a healthy dialogue with God on a daily basis and yourself mentally can aid in the development of effective communication. Effective communication denotes intimacy. If you are not married then no one is worth your undivided attention in communication and your hard earned money. If you have said, “I do!” then it is time to get things in order.
How can this be done?
Understanding the channels of communication is essential, that is the perception and the reception of communicating.
Perception is what you perceive to be said and reception is the actual oneness of one’s ears to listen to what is received. This is done through body language, eye contact and a language that is understood between two parties.
How should you talk to your future husband?
What does good communication look like?
Perception is what you perceive to be spoken and reception is the actual openness of one’s ears to listen to what is being said so it can be received. Communication at its best is demonstrated through good listening skills.
This is done through body language, eye contact and a language that is comprehended between two parties.
While dating one should consider effective communication techniques, this will aid in assisting each individual to understand one another and to work together.
How should you talk to your husband?
What does good communication look like?
Implement this:
- Hold each other’s hands and make eye contact as you have regular conversations and intense moments of fellowships.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8
- Resolve conflict before you both go to sleep at night.
BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger.
Ephesians 4:26
3. Practice forgiving and forgetting.
Here are some rules to follow:
- When you are in an intense moment of fellowship each party is allowed to speak their mind in increments of five minutes are less.
- Don’t bring up past mistakes.
Like a dog that returns to its vomit Is a fool who repeats his folly.
Proverbs 26:11
- Don’t hit below the belt. This is not an opportunity to impose hurt or pain.
- Your husband is not the enemy.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 6:12
- Keep God first and other people’s opinions advice and suggestions are OUT!
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33
Money
We all desire it and generally speaking before marriage, what is yours is yours. However after you say I do, everything becomes ours. The 2 shall become 1.
- Right now, your money is your money. However, after you get married your money and his money becomes our money.
That is right, not two accounts, not the words “mine and yours” but one account.
Remember you are married for a lifetime not just in the meantime.
So, what do you need to do to prepare financially for your mate to be?
- Start saving now! 10% Tithe and 10% You! That is right, pay God first and then pay yourself ten percent. Put some money away before it touches your hand. Set up a direct deposit before you get paid.
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.
Malachi 3:10
- Eliminate and cancel bad debt. (i.e. meaningless credit cards or even unsecured loans).
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:8
- Help others…give so that it will be given back to you.
“Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure– pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”
Luke 6:38
- Bargain shop ladies…catch a good sale, clip coupons, and spend less than what you earn and operate in delayed gratification-do you really need that purchase now.
- Invest and start a business, start several businesses. Remember the woman in proverbs, she was a smart woman! She started a business in the middle of a recession.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
Proverbs 31:16
Why spend $700.00 on a purse, when you can save or invest $650.00 of it and spend $50.00 on a shopping spree. And guess what you can still hold your head high and LOOK GOOD!
Most of all ladies…let’s celebrate each other. Today might not be your day, tomorrow might be your friends and the next day someone you never imagined is getting married but soon it will be your day. Until then, prepare yourself and don’t give out any milk for FREE!
DrGretchenTorbertPhD 
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